Fuck Bones

It’s lunchtime and I am loving life. I mean absolutely LOVING life, I recently found out I was accepted into a job I had my eyes set on and I had chicken for lunch. Nothing and I mean nothing could ever and I mean EVER rain on my parade when there is chicken involved, especially juicy succulent breast fillet chicken covered in Golden Honey mustard sauce, laying on a bed of spinach and steamed rice. I eat this because I am fancy and poor.

I was reading this article about a Japanese dentist who specialized in crooked teeth, not fixing them but making them, apparently it’s the current craze of Japan. Go figure. At least they save on their dental plans, without the need for braces and such. Upon reading this my mind started thinking about my teeth, they weren’t perfect but I liked them. As I pondered various dental applications I chewed my delicious chicken meal. It was all fine and dandy till I felt a crunch. Crunch? Cooked chicken breast didn’t go crunch, it made squelch noises.

My overly paranoid mind went into overdrive, I assumed it was a tooth, I assumed I had somehow dislodged an entire tooth and had crunched it into oblivion with one almighty bite.

I oh so classy like reached into my mouth and pulled out what I had feared would be a broken tooth. It wasn’t, it was a chicken bone. A fucking chicken bone in MY food.

I was not amused, I spent the rest of my time jabbing my chicken and squishing it against the clear plastic prison in which it was imprisoned, ensuring that it wasn’t hiding any other super death traps of bones I could have swallowed. Brutally stabbing cooked dead animals, it’s serious business.

Before I knew it, lunch time was over and rather than spending the time relaxing and eating I had spent it jabbing and squishing. I looked down at my now less than

Appetizing meal feeling rightly foolish. I gave a sigh and went to leave the lunch bench but was stopped by a voice next to me, annoyed business man, that’s right the same annoyed business man from the Subway line apparently worked on my floor. He gave an uneasy laugh before an attempt of a joke to break the apparent ice he had encased himself into. “wasn’t it dead enough for you?” He laughs and goes back to his paper, thinking he had made a funny. Silly business man. I stood there, trying to think of something clever to say, unfortunately the 5 second prime of a glorious retort had passed. I suppose that five seconds was closer to five minutes, as I didn’t realize how long I had been standing looking at his back till another had come up and asked if I was alright. I muttered words of assurance before walking off to dispose of my chicken mess.

I don’t know how to end this so here is a picture of the chicken.

Pens *twitch PENS!

In the month that I have worked in the office workplace I have learnt many a thing.

1 - People are scavengers, not saying in a bad way though, when there are tasty treats placed out to eat they will disappear within a matter of minutes, or if the average worker isn't all that hungry, in a matter of a few hours.

2 - Humour is something that is truly needed, if you don't have a good sense of it don't bother working in an office, in fact, don't bother leaving your house, don't watch TV or the news, don't read any books that offer more advice than eating green eggs and ham in a boat.

3 - No matter what the weather is like outside, it is always a comfy temperature in the office, that's right cool as a cucumber. *pulls out surfy dude motion thing*

4 - DISHES there are lots of them

Finally, 5- PENS...

That's right pens, if I have learnt one thing working here it is to safeguard your pen with your very life, and if you are unable to do that, bring an army of pen soilders, green, red, blue, black. No matter the colour, you'll need them at some point.

Pens tend to go missing quite a lot around here, oh yes we joke about the pen thieves and we all have a jolly good laugh. But secretly, we are all very wary of each other. With the shifty eyes that go <.< >.> and the quick darty movements we make as we swipe pens away from our co-workers. It is truly a grim battlefield.

I'm sure it would be the same at any workplace, if you peer through the shiny happy-go-lucky exterior and the friendly faces you'll unviel the mask and see with clear eyes, the sullen faces of weary workers. Whom have not slept in days, nor eaten in months as they ravage to protect what little pens they have left.

Now me, I am quite comfortable with my supply of six...err....five pens. I got two awesome Game Trader ones which I grabbed from Tony, who runs the Game Traders (IT SELLS GAMES) store nearby. Oh yes, I also have two red ones and a blue one.

The blue one, is a bit of a trickster, I originally had a piece of sticky tape stuck to it with "Tiffany's Pen" The pens name is Peter 'On Nettleham the 3rd But to keep it simple we'll just call him P.E.N. Now Pen went missing, and minutes later was returned with a small message taped to his side that read 'Sorry I stole your Pen, *name*'(name ommitted for privacy cause I am a good girl~) I found this very amusing.

Probably a lot more amusing than a normal person would, so I replied with 'Stop stealing my pen!' written messily in red because red means GRR. The next day P.E.N went missing again, only to return with another message inscribed on his once pure sleek form, "I can't help it" It read.

So in another red fit of redness I scrawled back "FIND YOUR OWN."

...Pen has yet to go missing again.

Although i am sure he went missing once, he just has yet to recieve a tattoo from his other user, Darn P.E.N pimpin' himself out to whatever hand choose sto touch him.

I'm waiting for that other message to appear, for another tattoo to be added to his hard plastic casing.

I took a picture of P.E.N MARVELL AT HIM

Give Me hope, and a cuppa food

A site you should all look at, these few sites I got from my dear friend Courtney, and I demand you check out her live journal! Lights-Out. if you don't do it, I will hit you, I will find each and every one of you and stare at you and intimidate you till you do.

I love you Courtney, you brig

www.givesmehope.com/


Gives Me Hope is a site dedicated to showing that there is some good left in the world. It shows the simple and random acts of kindness that us, as human beings sometimes forget. I registered my name on that site, if you ever see anything posted by Tiffyness (its all I could think of at this point in time) then that's me.

I think these sites are wonderful, I have been in a horrible mood lately, and to be honest I have been crying all day. Not that you all need to know, but it's out there now, in the World Wide Web, on your computer screens.

Reading through these made me smile, it shows that there still is kindness in this world, that people do still care about one another. There are many of us out there, we just tend to be shadowed by the big corporate lights and flashy neon signs of the retail world and economical society.

It also made me remember of the simple acts of kindness that have happened to me, and that those around me have done, I always try to help others anyway I can, and its comforting to know society (or at least most of) is doing the same.

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Another site worth mentioning, going to this site and clicking the link will give a starving child 1.1 cups of food. You are able to click it once a day.
http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces;jsessionid=6758714C7374F63CDEC1BB1FD1F17952.ctgProd03
One click will help someone, you can at least do that can't you?