Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The elusive Itch

Ever find yourself sitting there, perhaps in a Sales meeting, or a lecture, or at a fancy italian/french resturant? Of course you have, and if you haven't then go do it, seriously, MCDonalds is not a 'nice dinner out' it's just NOT.

You find yourself sitting there, quite merrily listening to whomever is talking, or perhaps you have drifted off into your own fantasy world where you are a viking, you are in a sense of mindless bliss. Nothing is wrong, with you, or the world.

Until...

You feel it, that burning sensation, it's not quite painful, but it's just far too annoying to ignore, It is known as the dreaded itch! where is this itch? It's behind your ear. 'No worries,' you think to yourself as you raise your pen to your ear and itch away at it. Your pen is a blue pen, why? Don't ask questions!

The itch disappears, and you are relieved. It's gone long enough for your mind to drift back into that dull state of bliss, why does it do this? To catch you unexpectedly again. This time, its the side of your nose. Your eye twitches as you wrinkle your nose, attempting to get rid of the itch without drawing too much attention to yourself, yet doing this just makes you look strange, and even slightly gassy. In the end you give up and scratch your nose, but the itch just jumps, next to your arm, then your leg, now your buttocks. You take a deep breath, one of annoyance and shift your weight to try to get rid of the itch.

Success!

It's gone, you're still holding your breath, waiting for it to come back, but it doesn't. Yo breathe a sigh of relief.

Once again you are sitting there, perhaps listening to your boss go over the minutes of the meeting. As you listen to these amazing tales your eyes begin to wander, and you can't help but notice the person sitting next to you pull a strange face and wrinkle his nose, you stifle a smile wondering why he has pulled such a face. He then wriggles in his chair whilst scratching his arm.

The itch, has chosen its next victim.

Your eye travels

7 comments:

  1. HA! Good post! You sure it's not jumping fleas? I swear...there are times when I get those itches BAD....I'm convinced I've got little, teeny bugs on me.
    (Why am I sensing you are not all that surprised by this??)
    The itchies don't totally stop till I hit the shower. Weird? Maybe.
    But, you've had 'em too...so we're weird together.

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  2. FLEAS

    evil teeny tiny things, they can't be fleas though, unless the fleas are trying to get into my brain to control me...

    I always had a theory that ants and fleas are trying to control our minds, perhaps this is the first part to their plan.

    Being weird is a lot of fun.

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  3. I am personally convinced that there is an evil wizard of sorts messing with me. I have had this happen and it is very irritating. The last few times I have looked around for a bearded man with a hat full of stars and the moon but I have not bneen able to spot him so far

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  4. Evil wizards and their invisibility cloaks.

    X3

    Thanks for the comment shado

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  5. I'm far to busy sleeping through these dull meetings to worry about itches. So you might snore a bit and start to dribble but you have the added advantage that being asleep you don't notice all the people pointing, whispering and staring at you. The important thing to remember is not to wake up until everyone and I mean everyone (including your dignity) has left the room, there is nothing worse then waking with a start to a room full of grinning colleagues.....Top tip bring eye shade, ear muffs and a comfy pillow, these should get you through the longest of meeting. One word of warning though, putting on PJ's is going to far and do not attempt to sleep in the buff. That is a complete no,no. Not only is it weird it can lead to loss of job and in extreme circumstances loss of liberty....Thankfully I had a very understanding judge.....

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  6. This reminds me of the way you see a spider, and then next thing, you are absolutely sure there is a spider climbing on your leg or your neck or your head. And being out in public, after having jerked to brush the non existant spider away, you sort of subtley look around to see if anyone noticed the strange girl jerking and jumping all over the place.

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  7. @BlackLog
    ah, sorry didn't even notice anyone else replied on this entry.

    Dang, sleeping commando style, that was going to be my super secret technique to get through today at work, must try something else. Thanks for commenting.

    @Chrissie
    Same to you, didn't realize there were more comments here. Haha, yes thats true, or how you walk into a spider web and flail around, you know you walked into the spider web, but everyone lse just sees you wave your arms and legs about like a madman and wonder if you are a street performer~

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