Shoulder Magnet

Have any of you ever hit a body part? It may be an arm, a leg, perhaps your head or even your Cossacks bone. It hurts, quite obviously, I mean you hit it, why wouldn’t it hurt? I wish that when we hit our limbs on various objects it would feel all warm and fuzzy like a hot cup of cocoa on a cold winter night. Heck, if that were the case I’d be banging my head against the desk right now, and knocking my ankles against the sharp corner of my beloved little work station.

Alas, that is not the case, and last week I hit my shoulder at work, I believe it may have been against a wall, or corner of the cupboard. I wasn’t looking where I was going, I believe I was eyeing off that last piece of cake that sat atop the kitchenette counter. Ah yes, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was an apple and sultana crumble, topped off with slivered almonds, I bought it in from the bakery during my lunch break for me, and the rest of the jolly ol’ crew.

It hurt, but I brushed it off, I figured, ‘eh, it’ll just bruise and heal itself up all good and proper, then I’ll be as fit as a fiddle.”

Boy was I wrong, I stopped off my dearest mother’s house on the way home, and hit that same shoulder on the screen door, smart Tiffany, real smart. As I sat down at the kitchen table my little sister came storming through with a box, which again, hit me in my already pulsating with pain shoulder.

Just a bit of bad luck, what could possibly throw itself at my poor shoulder now?

Let’s see, over the course of the weekend:

-Corner of table as I was thrown onto a bed (get your minds out the gutter people, it isn’t what ya’ll think. Besides this bed was in the lounge room, HA!)
-Fridge-Freezer
-Tree
-Pole-3-4 strangers

Now, upon reading this you may think I’m a bit of a klutz, but really I’m not, and I wasn’t day dreaming either, well, I wasn’t most of the time. See..I have this theory…

The theory that injured body parts, that bruise…that’s not there to look pretty. Oh no, no, no, no. That there, is a tiny magnet produced by the angry little men that drive around in our blood cells, this magnet attracts objects to that there bit of skin. Why? Because the purple also signifies the big car crash, or blood cell crash that was caused due to the impact of that wall, corner or pole. This massive pile up of car like blood cells causes a strange magnetic pull, because the car crash was caused by the evil spirits that reside in our bodies, these spirits are called “Bleebos”

See, told ya I’d find out what the heck a Bleebos is!

Anyway, the Bleebos are vengeful little spirits that reside in our bloodstream, they are jealous because they want to grow hair, and being spirits, they can’t really do that can they? So they take their revenge on us by making these strange bruise magnets appear on our body when we are hurt.

This is all true, because I am a whale Biologist!

I am thinking about getting a PO box, cause a few people have said they want to send me letters, which I think is awesome peanuts! But I don’t feel comfortable with giving out my address to any Billy or Nancy that asks for it, so what do ya’ll think? If I had a PO box would ya write me some tasty tasty love?

Also, has anyone else ever had Bleebos attack them?